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When I was a small boy I enjoyed reading (and listening to) books written by the masterful story-teller and psychic enthusiast Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. One of the stories I particularly liked was the one where the Agra treasure got chucked off the back of a boat into a river, on the basis that the miscreant(s) responsible for its theft figured that if they wouldn’t get to keep it, nobody would. This was an interesting concept to me when I was eight years old and I’m sure the story is still a good one despite not being able to remember much except that the word “Hindu” was spelt “Hindoo”.

Specifics of Hindu or Hindoo culture I know very little about but Indian food of the kind which is generally to be found in English High Streets I do know a fair bit about.

The Agra Brasserie is in Ship Street, Brighton (01273 324384). It lays a claim to offering “Goan” cuisine. Again, I know little about India or Goa except that I remember reading in a cookery book that quite a lot of people in Goa apparently do eat cows although they’re not really supposed to.

I had read a good report of this restaurant some months ago and had wanted to check it out. However, when we turned up some months back my wife said she did not like the look of it so we went off on that occasion to the rather good tapas place in The Lanes. Now there is some interesting psychology going on here with the appearance of this establishment because while the restaurant is well designed inside, it is not very well designed (or appealing) from the outside. The way they have got the menu arranged on metal wires on the inside of the window somehow does not quite work, perhaps because it draws your eye down to the window sill on the inside, which is grubby! I am sure that this puts people off. Which is a great shame, because the Agra Brasserie is really very good.

We overcame our fear of the splodgy window-sill and went in. The interior is clean and well-designed (we also noticed that the cleanliness of cutlery, plates and general environment was immaculate - so it’s a shame they overlooked cleaning the windows and window sill - however first impressions count for a lot - the Agra really need to sort their front window out!).

One unusual thing worth noting is that the majority of waiting staff are not the usual Indian men - Agra Brasserie’s waiting staff are (for the most part) East European women. Which is a refreshing change. The waitresses are highly efficient and pleasant.

The interior is more modern British than typical Indian; the decor works well when you’re inside it, but again, fails to show itself well if at all from the outside. Again, this is a bit of a shame because I am sure that this restaurant could increase its turnover by 25-30% if they simply changed the lighting and arrangement of the frontage. There is a trick to making restaurants appealing from the outside, and it’s all to do with careful lighting, choice of materials and use of colour.

Anyway on with the review. Popadoms arrived quickly and were crisp and perfect; chutneys were good in that they had the proper hot stuff as well as the sweet.

My wife decided to order a Xacuti Lamb which mentions coconut and has an icon of three little “chillies” next to it on the menu. I ordered a Lamb Jalfrezi (also marked with three chillies) because this is, to me, a good way of gauging an Indian restaurant - in my experience you can generally get a pretty good idea of the overall quality of the place by simply sampling a small piece of popadum, a spoonful of jalfrezi and a bite of onion bhaji. Key elements like these are not easy to get right so if these things are good then it’s a fair sign that all else will be likewise. I also greatly enjoy eating green chillies.

For side dishes we chose Aloo Mehti (potato with fenugreek) and Sag Bhaji (spinach), a plain boiled rice and a peshwari nan bread.

The Xacuti Lamb was really superb. I didn’t think it had all that much heat - it was tingly, but more zingy than stingy, with a wonderful spread of flavour. The meat seemed carefully cooked to the point of falling apart in the mouth. Very good indeed. The Jalfrezi was also superb - lots of heat (definitely worth the three-chillies icon and much hotter than the similarly-badged Xacuti) but brimming with taste - on a level with The Kirthon’s jalfrezi or possibly a touch better. The chef seemed to have paid very careful attention to cook the meat so that it was soft and falling-apart, as when casseroled slow-and-low for hours, rather than chewy with obvious edges as can be the case with some curry houses who maybe fry it a bit too quick.

The vegetable side dishes were very good - attention to detail and robust flavours, good texture and of a very high standard of presentation (also, their menu says that the vegetables used are organic, which is unusual with Indian restaurants in my experience and commendable). Nan bread likewise was perfect - no charcoal underneath and no “sludge” of underdoneness inside.

Cobra beer and mineral water washed things down well, however we did not have room for dessert or coffee, not really being dessert-people and feeling quite stuffed by the time we’d finished. Needless to add we finished everything we had ordered!

In my opinion the Agra Brasserie is one of the best restaurants of any kind I have yet been to in Sussex or Kent, eclipsing even The Kirthon - it’s more friendly and attentive, more obviously well cared for and therefore more relaxing as a result - plus the quality of the food just goes the extra yard in comparison.

The fact that it’s in the centre of Brighton is a bonus. In fact I could see myself heading for the Agra on a regular basis. The problem now is finding enough excuses to go on business and leisure trips to Brighton in order to pay more visits to the place.

Price (typical meal for two as described above): £36.70 (no gratuity was prompted for which was noteworthy; we left a cash tip on the table).
Rating: 9/10
Recommend: Yes

I read a few good write-ups of Langton Green Tandoori and we have visited on three occasions. The first time was a quiet weekday early evening with the kids. The food was pretty good, not memorable but good, robust cooking. Service is good and the people are friendly. They also give you chunks of oranges and After Eights after dinner which is nice.

However if you do try this curry house I would recommend a quiet weekday evening as we had a real horror last Friday. We turned up at around 8pm; it was reasonably busy but not packed. We ordered dishes which we’d enjoyed before along with the usual popadoms. Things started poorly with the popadoms which were not crispy as they should be and tasted of “old” oil, or at least, there was a very definite oil taste on them which was not good, along with the fact that they were slightly mealy and soggy whereas they should be snappy and crispy-brittle.

The Lamb Garlic Balti arrived and after a few mouthfuls it became evident that it contained no garlic whatsoever. Or at least, not in the sense that one expects (i.e. visible chunks of the stuff). It also tasted really bland, and this was a dish which had been described as “medium hot” on the menu. My wife ordered a Lamb Tookri which is a premium offering on their menu under the “Chef Specials”. Previously when ordered this had arrived on a sort of platter with some salad and had tasted pretty good. On this occasion however it arrived in the usual little metal dish and was uninspiring to say the least - bland and over sweet compared to the same dish previously.

I complained to the waiter about the non-garlic garlic balti and soon enough the proprietor arrived to take away the dodgy balti. His explanation wasn’t very clear. Anyway he returned some time later with a revitalised dish which was an improvement, but looked and tasted very rushed. By which time my wife had finished eating and I was feeling somewhat disappointed and had lost most of my appetite. Well at least the Cobra beer was cold and they couldn’t mess that up. So we paid the £32 bill and left.
I don’t know what went wrong at Langton Green on this visit, but the food was totally appalling. A shame, because on both previous visits I had been reasonably pleased with everything - it seemed like the kind of reliable, friendly place that’s worth a visit, but now I would be very hesitant to recommend it, as the food served to us on our last visit was as bad as the worst curry houses I have ever visited.

Maybe they were just having an “off” day; on the other hand perhaps it is better to visit when they are quieter i.e. not on a Friday or Saturday night. Perhaps the chef was having a night off or they don’t cope well with heavy loads.

A great disappointment and I think we will probably forego this establishment in future to spend more time at the very excellent Kirthon in Tunbridge Wells.

About a week and a half ago a man arrived with a low-loader and dropped off a Volvo XC90, with just over 8 miles on the clock.

The reason I got this car was because the contract hire deal on the Toyota Land Cruiser was due to expire.

I had been very pleased with the Land Cruiser, which I had picked up on exceptionally good terms: a two year contract hire deal (3+23) for £325 + vat per month. Not bad for a car with an RRP around £29,000. I was sad to see it go, unfortunately with these kind of deals it’s not possible to extend the terms without paying hand over fist, which I am not prepared to do. Besides I am unemotional about motoring and after all, change is good.

So, I am blogging about this because if you are the kind of person who needs or wants this kind of car, then my thoughts may be useful to you!

First impressions.

The Volvo has much harder seats than the Toyota. It also has extremely irritating, intrusive, non-adjustable headrests! No doubt the boffins at Volvo have designed these painstakingly after smashing endless carloads of dummies into deformable blocks and observing the results in slow motion, but the dummies obviously haven’t been able to speak out and denounce these dreadful headrests for what they are: uncomfortable, irritating, and downright damaging (if you have a history of neck trouble, as I do). More about the horrible headrests and how I solved the problem later!

The Toyota has much better wing mirrors - they’re huge, almost like a van’s, enabling easy reversing and great on-road rearwards visibility.

The Volvo’s doors are more solid and “thunk” whereas the Land Cruiser’s doors, while solid enough, feel a bit tinny and insubstantial in comparison.

The Volvo has a more pleasant, higher-quality feeling dashboard and instruments, set around the driver in a pleasing arrangement. The CD/radio/hifi in the Volvo is of a far superior quality to the Land Cruiser, both in terms of controls, appearance, and quality of sound - the Volvo’s speakers knock the Toyota’s into the weeds. It also has handy steering-wheel based controls for volume and track or station hopping.

The Volvo has got seven seats, while the Toyota has eight. We have used all eight seats perhaps half a dozen times over the last two years, so it is handy, but perhaps not essential. However we have often been travelling six or seven up, so it was not possible to examine other possible options for replacement cars which only had five seats, for example the BMW X5 (as a long time BMW fan, I would have strongly considered getting one of these instead if only they had a 7-seat option, which they currently do not).

The contract hire terms on the Volvo were less favourable than the Land Cruiser, possibly a reflection of higher interest rates, or lower confidence in the market for resale.

Some very good deals were available on the run-out model with 165bhp, leather and winter pack, for around £379 but this was last autumn, and they wanted to deliver in spring, which would not have been sensible with so many months to run on the Toyota. So I settled for £409 + vat on 3+23 terms, again with Acorn Finance, who are helpful and decent people to deal with (always a help).

The only option specified was a “Geartronic” automatic gearbox which added around £20 to the contract hire figure. I had previously set a max budget of £400+vat per month but I relented the £9 as it was starting to take up too much time to dig around for the best deal. On reflection it seems that I got a reasonable deal, as this car would cost around £34,000 new, so even to rent the money would cost perhaps half or more of the monthly figure.

I would question the sanity of anyone choosing this kind of car with a manual gearbox, but it is available. In fact I would question the sanity of anyone wanting a manual gearbox in any car unless they happen to own an open car or a fast coupe and live within spitting distance of the Nurburgring.

The Geartronic gearbox is pretty good. I find it smooth and sensitive, and at least as smooth as the Toyota, which has less gears. My wife says she finds it jumpy and lurchy, but then she stamps up and down on the accelerator like someone doing Russian dancing, so the car probably gets a bit confused.

The Geartronic is basically a rip-off of the tiptronic-type system used by Porsche, BMW et al. You nudge it to the side and blip the gears up and down by hand if you are feeling bored or frustrated enough to want to.

The steering in the Volvo, as well as all other controls requiring input, is far more hefty than the Land Cruiser, which has very light controls.

The Volvo drives much more like a car and has a much firmer (read less comfortable) ride. It corners almost flat, with very little complaint from the tyres when pressing on. The Land Cruiser, on the other hand, wallows through corners like something afloat, front tyres wailing like the Dukes of Hazzard at the slightest provocation.

The Volvo has a five-cylinder engine which sounds reasonably smooth for a diesel. It is more refined than the Toyota’s three-litre four-pot, despite being only 2.4l in capacity. It has 185bhp, and goes reasonably well once it’s got some momentum behind it, but I wouldn’t say there was very much difference in performance between the Volvo and the Toyota; the Volvo feels marginally faster, perhaps a second or so in the 0-60 time, but this is not really the kind of car which you want to thrash about the place. The Volvo is a little more refined than the Toyota at speed: road roar and cabin noise is quite subdued around 70 or 80mph, on a par with a BMW, whereas the Toyota does remind you of its bluff shape, offroad tyres and throaty engine at the higher speeds.

You can press on with the Volvo on country lanes and it corners very confidently for such a heavy beast. The downside of which is a far more jiggly and firm ride, which may offend passengers who are used to being sponged along in a motorised sofa like the Land Cruiser. I guess you have to think carefully about the kind of motoring you want to do, and where your compromises need to be, as it doesn’t seem physically possible to have a big car which can waft along in floaty comfort, soaking up all the bumps, as well as being chuckable round corners.

Personally I prefer firm suspension and flat cornering but my wife would go for the spongey option, happy to lurch round corners hanging on to the steering wheel like Captain Pugwash.

The Volvo has a nifty middle seat in the second row which has an integral booster cushion, and can also be slid forwards to bring the small child “closer to the front”.

As parents of small children we know that this is just PR nonsense. What Volvo really mean is that you can put the naughtiest, most irritating toddler in the middle seat, and crank them right forward far away from their siblings, in order to create a lovely serene and harmonious environment in the back, neatly avoiding fights, grinches, and general aggravation by creating sufficient buffer room between the various sets of pudgy hands. So, unless your four-year-old has got arms like Mr Tickle, he or she will be unable to do anything naughty while in the elevated middle seat while it is in the forwards position, and to compensate for the lost opportunities to impart violence to any available siblings, they can feel quite important in a commanding position in the middle with a great view of the road ahead right out of the windscreen, closer to the watchful eyes of mum and dad.

So, full marks to Volvo for reading parents’ minds.

The rear row, to make up for there only being two seats, has got lots of cubby-hole space, drinks holders, and a power supply, presumably so the children can plug in their laptops or mobile phones and buy and sell tea cosies on ebay from the back of the car without making a nuisance of themselves to mum and dad.

The rearmost row is not really suitable for anybody over about 5′10″ high except for short trips. The two rear seats fold forward very cleverly, completely flat, creating useful load space. With the two rear seats erected, there is still reasonably space enough for a small buggy, a decent amount of shopping, or some squashy bags. The seats fold flat independently which is also useful.

The Land Cruiser’s rear row fold up to the side and are easily removable to place in the garage in case the extra space is needed. I’m not sure which solution is best; I would venture that Volvo has more convenience, while the Land Cruiser has the edge if you really need a big available space.

In my opinion, the Land Cruiser LC2 has better seat fabric than the Volvo, especially as I don’t consider the extra money for leather worth spending - I’m after value from my contract hire after all and I don’t believe in wasting money! Although I would prefer leather every time, an extra £20-35 per month just ain’t worth it. So, as a reminder that they are depriving you of the aromatic and other sensual joys available from reclining in swathes of dead cows’ bottoms, Volvo choose to give you a central fabric of something semi-pleasant but somewhat nylonic, straddled by very obviously plasticky fake leather look alike vinyl, which I consider deeply nasty. The LC2, also a basic spec model, managed to offer reasonable seat fabric, in a kind of soft synthetic material, without having to resort to anything as tasteless and unpleasant as plastic-fake-leather-look. I am also rather dubious about the effectiveness of this material at sweat absorption on a long journey, and wonder quietly why Volvo are unable to provide decent quality cloth all over their seats, which is something Volkswagen and Ford have managed to do since the 1970s. I guess that Volvo just want everyone to order the leather, which although costs Volvo probably about the price of a beef sandwich more than the synthetic fabric, they somehow get away with charging £1500-2000 more for. Not worth it in my opinion, especially as I believe in the U.S. it’s a standard item in every XC90, so why not over here?

The Volvo’s split folding tailgate is good. The Toyota’s door is side hinged, and can swing back very heavily if not handled carefully. It can also be a nuisance when parking close to a wall, as it needs its own width to fully open, whereas the Volvo’s split-fold is far more practical and less likely to whack somebody or something if let go carelessly. It also gives you a useful fold-down-flat “ledge” to put boxes on while stacking things up inside, which is handy if it’s raining and you don’t want things to get wet on the floor while you work out how to stack everything inside.

The Volvo has got park-distance-control which the Land Cruiser LC2 (a very basic spec, except for the auto box) did not have, and is very welcome in a hefty car of this size with limited visibility out of the rear window. However, there is a button to switch this off, which I find incongruous - why would anyone want to switch this function off? It seems absurd, and also potentially highly dangerous, if the button is pressed by accident, and then for a driver who has got used to park distance control, this seems like asking for trouble! I have no idea why anyone would want to switch off PDC in any car; maybe someone will englighten me.

The Volvo has better air conditioning controls than the Toyota, allowing full auto-air-recirculation, something which the Japanese seem very uninterested in, but which I think is really quite valuable: it “sniffs” the air for nasties, and shuts off if there is too much of something unpleasant in the outside air, automatically recirculating the interior air, until things improve on the outside. So,a bonus mark to Volvo for that. On the Toyota you have to manually select “recirc” when you see the problem by which time the evil cloud of diesel (or whatever) has already engulfed you and entered the vehicle.

Now on to my biggest gripe, which thankfully has now been resolved: the horrible headrests!

For reasons best known only to Volvo and its team of Dummies, the headrests (in the front only) are cranked forward at a wholly unreasonable angle, and are not adjustable.

Of course, I could have test driven the car and discovered this, but I don’t have time to pfaff about going to car dealers and doing test drives, so I just assumed that Volvo would be as good as Toyota, BMW, Mercedes etc. In fact I had no idea that a modern quality car manufacturer could produce such a lousy headrest design; it’s just not the kind of thing I would expect.

When I drive I like to maintain a fairly upright posture, slightly inclined back, an attitude to which the BMW 5-Series’ seats are perfectly attuned. This posture is impossible in the Volvo because these wretched headrests keep pushing your head forward at a really uncomfortable angle.

I took several short journeys, trying to get used to the seats, fiddling with the adjustments infinitely, trying to kid myself that it was me, rather than the seats, which had the problem. Then my wife drove it, and spent some time in the passenger seat, and likewise declared the headrests to be completely unacceptable. Worse for her, because she often likes to have a pony tail or put her hair up with a clasp, which is totally impossible to reconcile with these headrests unless you fancy sitting like quasimodo.

After some hours of discomfort, irritation and highly unpleasant neck ache I realised that something which have to be done so I searched on the internet, and soon enough I discovered an American Volvo enthusiast site which had the perfect solution - take the headrests out and bend the rods to take the wretched things back to where they should be.

First of all you have to find the “secret release” buttons for the headrests, which are located in the reat of the seat, in line with the headrest rods. You press them together and lift the headrest out - that’s the easy part.

Then it is necessary to bend the rods back to the point where you achieve a comfortable position.

I drove around for a while with no headrests, which was fine, but not very safe, apart from the fact that I no longer had the dangerous irritation of my head continually making contact with the headrest, or suffering the dangerous and upsetting irritation of neck and back ache caused by having to adopt an unnatural seating posture.

So, I fixed an appointment with a local friendly blacksmith to sort out the problem, as I do not have the right kind of DIY equipment necessary: the American website contributor suggested a vice and stout metal tubing, neither of which I possess.

The blacksmith found a suitable strong metal bar with a hole in it just the right size. Then we clamped the bar in place in his vice, put each headrest rod through the hole, and bent it just below the point of entry to the headrest itself, using a stout metal tube and heavy-weight wrench for leverage to do the bending. It’s tough metal and does require some effort and control to get right. After each bend I fitted the headrests back in, sat down, and kept on by trial and error until I felt they were just right. We estimated the amount of total bend to be about 1.5 inches.

And now, I don’t even notice the seats or the headrests, so I can concentrate on motoring and driving safely rather than constantly being annoyed and distracted by something biffing me over the back of the head, or being caused the discomfort of neck strain and back ache.

I find it perplexing that a car with so many good features can fall down on something so fundamental as seat design.

Being Mr Average in size and weight, I also find it perplexing that Volvo seem oblivious to the needs of real people?

I don’t dispute the importance of minimising the negative effects of whiplash injury, which is what these headrests are designed to do, but there has got to be a balance!

For example, I don’t walk everywhere with a construction helmet on my head just because there is a very small chance that something might fall off a building in the high street and land on my head. The risk, being very small, is just not worth the inconvenience. And so it is with these headrests. It is just not worth enduring discomfort and irritation on a continuous basis, on every journey, simply to conform to achieving the scientific “best result” in the highly unlikely event of a serious rear-end shunt. I’ve been rear-ended several times on the road, but never seriously enough to cause any problem. In my opinion it’s just not worth enduring horrible headrests just in case this happens. Also in my humble opinion, a driver is far more likely to lose concentration and become involved in an accident if they are uncomfortable, or suffering neck ache or irritation and constant distraction from a badly-positioned headrest. Furthermore the headrests are extremely hard and the comfort or cushioning in them is minimal, unlike BMW, Ford, Toyota etc. I don’t remember ever driving a car with such unyielding headrests as these. Perhaps Volvo need to spend a little time “out of the box” and looking at the competition? And, perhaps, listening to their customers (or potential customers who have been decided against them because of this).

I am sure that Volvo lose sales over this. In fact, having read numerous American websites where this problem is reported and openly discussed, I KNOW that they lose sales over this: I have read several posts from people who were recommended a Volvo, or were considering it as an option, but were simply unable to live with such discomfort and lack of adjustment in the headrest. So I expect it’s the same everywhere, except that in the UK, people seem less vocal and less likely to shout about their problems than Americans are, as there seems to be more of a customer-is-always-right attitude in the states whereas in Blighty, consumers are generally too timid and less likely to make a fuss.

I don’t believe that bending the headrests back to a “normal” (read comfortable) position will greatly diminish their effectiveness in the event of a severe shunt. So much depends on the size and shape of the seat’s occupant, the speed, angle, point of contact and severity of an impact, and so many other factors. I would suggest that simply there being headrests in approximately the correct position would be beneficial enough, and I am fairly certain that a couple of inches make next to no difference to safety, whereas it makes a world of difference to driver comfort.

I don’t think it is acceptable to sell a quality car in 2006 with non-adjustable headrests, and I think that Volvo should offer an option on these awful items for people who don’t want to sit hunched up like Quasimodo or who, like me, have suffered enough neck trouble for one lifetime and don’t want to spend the rest of their time booking regular appointments with the osteopath.

Apart from this major gripe, I think the XC90 is pretty good, and although I miss the Toyota, I am now looking forward to the next two years with the Volvo.

About three years ago I had a water filter installed by the Pure H2O company. It’s got some benefits but also some “disbenefits” as I might refer to them.

I post this on my blog simply because I found very little about this device (and similar items under consideration) when I was surfing the web about three years ago looking to buy one. It is often helpful to read a review, however brief, from someone who has actually used a product which you may be considering. This is not a scentific or in-depth review; rather it’s a record of my experiences and opinions regarding this product.

It’s expensive (around £600 plus replacement filters recommended every year for around £130), and in use it is highly wasteful (for each litre of water filtered by reverse osmosis you get from your special new tap, around 5-8 litres is wasted - simply flushed away). However this is still cheaper and more convenient than buying bottled water (which may of itself contain contaminants and bacteria).

I had it fitted because I was concerned about potential high levels of contaminants in the water, not least fluoride, but also heavy metals and chlorine and other general stuff which may have harmful effects. I subsequently discovered that in the district of East Sussex in which I live, they don’t currently add fluoride to the water! A good thing in my opinion as indiscriminate medication with questionable chemical by-products is not something which ought to be encouraged.

So you order the water filter and a man turns up at your house and fits a blue tank and set of filters under the kitchen sink. There is a pressure gauge which determines whether you have sufficient pressure to run the device (or whether there is perhaps too much pressure). We were borderline, almost too much, but so far we have not experienced any problems as a result of the higher-than-normal water mains pressure in our area.

Benefits:
1) Your kettle never gets furred up with strange scale or deposits
2) You have around 8-10 litres of water in a tank under your sink, so if the water is switched off for a while, your supply does not immediately disappear
3) You know that particles and other undesirable contaminants are removed from your drinking water

“Disbenefits”:
1) The water tastes hollow. It’s definitely got an odd taste to it.
2) There are concerns in some circles that water filtered by reverse osmosis may not be beneficial to health.
3) It’s costly and wasteful.

On the subject of the strange hollow taste. I raised this with the company which supplied the unit, and they sent me a bottle to send a sample to them. I duly posted it off, chased it up several times and they never got back to me. In fact the only time they ring me up is to offer cash incentives to get other people signed up for their filters, or to have the filter changed, which obviously makes money for them.

On the subject of reverse osmosis against distilled, I am not sure exactly what the argument is here, but I have read that distilled water (and therefore possibly reverse osmosis filtered water as well) is supposed to be bad for you, because it “leeches” essential things away from your body. Although I accept that reverse osmosis is not the same as distillation, I spoke to the Pure H2O company at length about this, but they lacked the information I wanted: their take on things was very bland and fixed, and they hadn’t any feedback on the appearance of the water crystals and the formation of the fluid compared to standard tap water or spring water. I was interested in how the water bonded to minerals and exactly what happened to the water at a molecular level when it was filtered. Pure H2O’s resident expert was unable to tell me much except to keep repeating that it “was pure water”, however I think some research was done in Japan quite recently about this. If I find the reference I will add it to this blog.

As we did not use the water as much as we might, we decided to only have the filters changed after two years. A man arrived with fresh filters and an amazing hand-held water testing gadget. He told us that our standard tap water had around 120 ppm (parts per million) of particles, while the water from the water filter only had 6ppm, which was quite impressive.

My advice to anyone considering one of these devices would be to go and taste the water from one - make sure you like it before you have it installed! It took me some getting used to, as it doesn’t taste completely neutral as I had expected. Obviously the company which sells and supplies these devices is really just a commercial enterprise, and they gloss over a lot of things, for example their publicity material did not contain much information (if any!) on the amount of waste, and there was no mention of the water having a distinctive taste, which I think is a very important factor.

Comparing it to London tap water, which has a really nasty sharp chlorine taste, there’s no question that it’s definitely better-tasting, besides which ingesting chlorine in any form can never be a good thing. East Sussex water is also chloriney but nowhere near as bad as London. The water filter water does not however have the “neutral” plain water taste like Evian, or Volvic, or any other popular still mineral water I have tried. What it does have is a distinctive and unique taste of its own. I can’t say whether this is a good thing or not, or whether drinking water filtered by reverse osmosis is better or worse for health than regular water, but generally it performs much better in tea and coffee making (tea bags diffuse far quicker in the filtered water, and coffee tends to be more consistent). Make sure you try before you buy, or visit the company if you have time to see one in action.

Sitting at a desk (not my own) in someone else’s office I realise how important choice of desk is in avoiding RSI (Repetitive Strain Injury). This desk has hard edges and I need to lean my wrists on the edges to type comfortably. As it is only a small-size desk I am unable to put my elbows on it and rest my arms, which would be a better posture.

I first suffered with RSI in 1999, shortly after the birth of my first child. On a trip out to buy baby goods we decided to buy a kind of sling to put the baby in. After some months of carrying (increasingly heavy) baby around with this device I started noticing pains in my neck, and a little after that I lost sensation in the tip of the little finger and ring finger of both hands. And a little after that, I experienced incredible sharp pains in the carpal tunnel (the area covered for example typically by the buckle on a watch strap). And after all that I then had pains around the thumb joint and tendons - tynosinivitis. I also suffered from frequent and excruciating pains around the base of my neck.

I visited an osteopath on five or six occasions and they provided short-term relief by manipulating my neck and massaging the arms, but in general things did not improve. The problem was that I was generally sleep deprived, was lacking exercise and needed to “mouse” perhaps 60 or 70 hours a week in order to do my work. “Cut down on mousing” the osteopath would say, but it was not practical to do so.

Besides ditching the convenient but damaging baby harness, which I suspected of being the major culprit in starting off the whole problem, I started on a programme of self-therapy, which involved as much upper body exercise as I could, gentle running, push-ups and deep massage of the carpal tunnel with the thumb of the opposing hand.

While the pain in my wrists was inflammation around the carpal tunnel, the numbness in the finger-tips was characteristic of ulnar nerve entrapment. This occurs a nerve is inflamed or slightly trapped somewhere between the spine and where it ends, at the tips of the little and ring fingers. I suspected that this was a combination of the neck damage which I had suffered and perhaps also from bad posture, coupled with the lack of exercise. I had previously been keen on running and general work-outs at the gym, all of which suddenly ground to a halt when baby arrived.

The most effective self-treatment I found was the deep, circular massaging of the carpal tunnel using the thumb of the other hand. This is unbelievably painful at first, and it’s difficult to push very hard. But after a few weeks of doing this, perhaps for 5 minutes three or four times per day, I was able to push progressively harder and massage deeper. The pain subsided accordingly. I can now push as hard as I can reasonably grip, with no real discomfort. However I do notice more pain if I don’t massage the carpal tunnel area fairly regularly. I also extend the massage to the upper arm just before the elbow joint, which I have found beneficial. According to what I have read, massaging in this way encourages more blood flow, which helps to deal with inflammation and resolve tissue damage quicker.

However I don’t think that RSI damage ever really leaves the body - or, it can be ameliorated but once damaged I believe there is always the possibility that it can return. For example sitting here at this small desk, I have had to adjust my posture and arm position several times to prevent pain and numbness in my hands and wrists.

The ulnar nerve entrapment took much longer to go, around 6-8 months, and occasionally it may still surface, albeit briefly, after the occasional very long car journey or similar. It was quite a few months before the nerves had recovered, or the swelling had left the nerve, to the point where normal feeling returned to the little and ring-finger tips. This was the most upsetting and disconcerting of the injuries I experienced as I had been worried that the loss of feeling might extend further, or that I might lose some muscular function in my hands. However fortunately this was not the case. I believe that the attention to posture (never hunch!) and regular exercise helped this get back on track and to be kept at bay.

The tynosynivitis was a minor problem in my personal RSI catalogue and this was simply an occasional nagging pain in the tendon connecting the wrist to the thumb. If you bend your thumb back gently and try to line it up with your arm, a sharp feeling of pain at this point may indicate tynosynivitis (I believe the type I had may have been De Quervain’s but I am not sure). Again, this took some time to dissipate but I believe the regular massaging and exercise was instrumental in this. I also did push ups with my hands splayed right out, and pressing my palms to the floor, as well as gently rotating my elbows in a push-up posture, pushing “against” the pain in the tendon, gradually allowing it to extend and relax. General exercise, running and gentle dumb-bell stretches also seemed to help with this. And all the RSI problems were alleviated by constant attention to posture - sitting up straight, never hunching or slouching, and keeping neck and back straight.

Some days it was absolute agony trying to mouse and type, and I only need to remind myself of this to ensure that I keep up with regular massage of the vulnerable areas as often as possible. This is easy to do really, because we are all idle at some point - as a passenger in a car, waiting for dinner in a restaurant, hanging around at a train station, watching a film, whatever, and massaging is easy.

I have put this on my blog as it might be useful to other sufferers to know that these problems can be defeated with self-treatment or osteopathy or general physical therapy. I was a fairly young, fit man in my late twenties when this happened to me, and so I believe it could strike pretty much anyone. I read some horrendous horror stories of people having surgery to “correct” carpal tunnel, only to have the problems return (and then having the scar tissue to deal with).

I believe that RSI will always return (or turn into a chronic problem) if the key problems of posture, physical bodily mis-use (mousing and typing for 70 hours a week with no exercise counts as mis-use) and exercise are not addressed. It is important to recognise that our bodies are not really designed to sit at desks and type for long hours to the exclusion of all other physical activity, and if the body is used in such an unnatural way, then pain and disease is likely to follow.

The Kirthon is situated on the first floor of an elegant building forming part of a Georgian (or thereabouts) terrace on the pedestrianised Pantiles, just opposite the bandstand. In fact it’s also opposite a large curry house called Madras, but I had read some less than positive reviews of that place, so I can’t comment on what it may offer.What the Kirthon offers is a quirky (but unpretentious) take on the regular curry house. The cutlery is highly unusual and looks hand-beaten. The restaurant is situated in a long, thin room with a large television at one end serving up Bollywood movies (this was a source of some fascination to the children who have never seen a Bollywood film). The kitchen is higher up in the building, up a further flight of stairs, and the food seems to arrive via some kind of dumb waiter system, the movements of which seem to be organised by crackling walkie-talkies. It’s weird but definitely characterful.

The staff are typical Indian waiters of the inconspicuous and accommodating variety. The food is interesting. Of particular interest to me is the inclusion of garlic chilli dishes, something which you don’t find at many places. They also have a good range of thalis and the vegetable dish menu offers a far wider choice than the typical high street curry house. The Lamb Tikka Garlic Chilli is fantastic - hot, slightly sour, a really full, big taste : lots of broad heat but without any sharpness or overt stinging. I also recently tried a lamb Jalfrezi which I would say is perhaps the best Jalfrezi I have ever tasted.

We have eaten at the Kirthon several times. Each time I have been very pleased with the food and service. Pappadums are always crisp and fresh. Nan bread has been consistently fluffy and never charcoaled up underneath. The vegetable stuffed paratha is great and not greasy. Onion bhajis likewise. The waiters seemed slightly nervous of small children the first time we visited but I think they may have got used to mine by now. I would not go so far as to say it’s a “family friendly” restaurant in the babychair sense but they have got bench seating against the back wall which is good for the little ones. The children very much enjoyed a Lamb Tikka Biriani last time we visited, and the rice and bread always goes down well.

They serve the usual beers and on some occasions they’ve given us a whisky and a Baileys for no apparent reason, which is rather pleasant.

I would say that the Kirthon is a good curry house serving honest and interesting food. They appear to try hard and everything seems fresh and properly prepared. I have also peered into the kitchens and I didn’t see anything which I found unsettling.

Compared to other curry houses, it’s not expensive. A typical meal at the Kirthon for two is about £30-35; a family meal with water and beer closer to £45 or £50. However you could eat well and have a light meal, perhaps a thali and a drink each for around £20. It’s unpretentious and good value.

Recommend? Yes

Blobs: 4/5

On Sunday we decided to visit Beachy Head as I needed to pick up some arrows in Saltdean. So we followed the A259 to Beachy Head and had an enjoyable walk along the clifftop. The lighthouse is not easy to see unless you fancy standing right on the edge of the cliff, and it was surprisingly busy with tourists. So after a brief walk we drove on to Eastbourne, which is really just down the road. We felt hungry but didn’t fancy taking a chance on the “Brewer’s Fayre” on offer at the pub over the road from the landmark.
Approaching Eastbourne from the direction of Beachy Head takes you through what is perhaps the leafy and pleasant end of the town. It puts me in mind of what the planners may have had in mind when they were developing areas of south east London in the 1920s and 30s.

Off the main seafront road is a busy road stuffed full of restaurants, tacky tourist shops and the like.

We had a look at the two major fish and chip establishments and decided to try one with the worryingly naff name of Qualisea. I chose this one because it was busy and they had lots of fish in the fryer display. I’m very much a point-to-my-dinner kind of person when it comes to fish and chips.

We sat down and ordered three cod and chips for the munchkins and one each for the grown-ups (a total of five). The food arrived quickly and was commendably well cooked and fresh. The chips were not soggy; the fish was flakey inside and the batter was crispy and light on the outside. Sometimes battered fish can be greasy or slimey but in this case it was spot on. The place was quite busy and is obviously an establishment with a lot of turnover. Everything appeared to be fresh and clean and efficient. Staff were pleasant, which is always a bonus. With Evian, our meal came to a few pence under £20, which I consider good value.

I would recommend Qualisea for a lunch or dinner break during a family day out or to stop by for a casual lunch if you happen to be in Eastbourne. It looks as if it seats maybe 50 people, has a takeaway side and also has a licence.

Recommend? Yes

Blobs: 4/5

Why Switzerland? Our decision to go to Switzerland was really the result of a process of elimination. Deciding that we needed a holiday around easter time, we felt that skiing and mountain air would be a good choice. Disliking air travel, we needed to go somewhere within relatively easy access from the UK by road (we did briefly consider the train, but with two small children, pregnant wife and granny in tow, decided that motoring would suit best).

In February I gathered skiing brochures from travel agents and tried to get a feel for where we wanted to go. We had been to Italy (Cervinia) before, and while we had been very pleased with the food, wine and the skiing, had been put off by the accommodation (poor quality plumbing, no duvets, curt service, communication difficulties) and the toilets (of the dirty, squatting variety) so we ruled Italy out. Similarly I had skied in France twice before and did not much fancy enduring the general rudeness of the natives and their indifferent approach to service and hygiene again (plus the fact that French hotel breakfasts in my experience offer only two choices: either non-existent or crap) so that was ruled out too. This left us with a choice of Austria or Switzerland. After some online research, Switzerland’s marketing won me over and I decided that it would be nice to try to get to Saas Fee; a village close to Zermatt, similarly dedicated entirely to tourism and Alpine pursuits, and, as with Zermatt, declared a “car free” zone, something we had not experienced before. Saas Fee is billed by the Swiss marketing folk as the “Pearl of the Alps” and its website (http://www.saasfee.ch) contained comprehensive and detailed information on all that the village had to offer - it was important to me to ensure that there would be sufficient activities other than skiing to keep the children, wife and granny entertained when they were not on the nursery slopes.

After several hours’ online research, a visit to Ottakar’s bookshop in Tunbridge Wells to purchase The Rough Guide to Switzerland and some other volumes, and much time spent on the telephone to various travel agents, it occurred to me that the agents were only able to offer a very limited scope of set-price packages (almost all geared up to air travel), and generally seemed unwilling or unable to think or operate “outside the box” of fixed dates, times and all-in deals. In the end I gave up with the agents and decided to fax hotels direct to make my own arrangements.

A rapid response came back the Schweizerhof four star “Gourmet and Wellness” hotel, who impressed by understanding our requirements first time round and came back with the offer of a deluxe room, with connecting door/lobby to a twin room with an extra bed, breakfast and “five course gourmet dinner” included, at SFr840 (£375) per night for all five of us (the children officially staying “free” on account of a SFr140 supplement for the third adult), which included the use of the swimming pool, sauna, steam room(s) and other on-site facilities. This seemed reasonable compared to other places so I confirmed the booking for five nights from 21st to 26th, the plan being to leave the UK on Saturday 19th, spend two days rolling gently through France, Belgium, Germany and Switzerland with lots of breaks and sightseeing on the way and arrive Monday around lunch time, leaving at a similar time on the Saturday to arrive back in the UK the following (Easter Bank Holiday) Monday.

Booking the ferry crossing proved problematic, not least because the P&O website kept failing and throwing up spurious error messages, regardless of which browser I was using. For the record, it totally failed with Explorer v5 on Mac Classic, refused to co-operate when using Explorer v6 on Windows XP Professional, gave weird javascript errors with Safari on OS-X, and didn’t co-operate when using Firefox on OS-X either. It baffles me that a major company like P&O care so little about their customers that they don’t appear to bother to test their websites properly across a reasonable spectrum of browsers and platforms. It also irks me that critical functions of their site appear to rely solely on javascript, which being so client-side-reliant, is a bad idea when a server-side solution is so much more robust and safe (and reliable) - especially when an organisation like P&O can easily afford enough computing power to drill through this kind of thing without falling over so why they even bother with javascript is a mystery.

So I ended up phoning P&O and speaking to a woman who told me that the crossing at the times I wanted would be £155 plus a booking fee. I said that this sounded a bit expensive; she offered a better deal but only available if departing at 06:00am and returning at a similarly unsociable wee hour, so I decided to look elsewhere. I was also disappointed that she informed me that they no longer offered the “open return” which I had relied on before – the exploring and sightseeing with no rigid return time in mind is one of the joys of independent travel, but now, for no apparently valid reason, no longer an option with P&O. I sometimes wonder why companies like P&O spend so much time advertising and trying to demonstrate to people that they are offering more, when the service features that their regular customers really want, get cut without explanation?

A quick jump to Ben Lovejoy’s excellent nurburgring site (http://www.nurburgring.org.uk) which contains useful links to online cross channel ferry companies lead me to http://www.cheapest-channel-crossing.co.uk which is a much better bet than P&O’s web offering, not least as it offers a view of all the options from different ferry companies (and Eurotunnel) at once, thereby saving a considerable amount of faffing about.

The cheapest-channel-crossing site offered me an “EBO SAVER FARE HIGH” with P&O at £86 return plus £1.08 booking fee, for travel between certain obscure morning-afternoon daytimes, which seemed altogether quite reasonable. The telesales woman at P&O hadn’t even mentioned this as an option. I decided not to bother with the extra cost of the priority on-off option (we had no reason to hurry) or the Club Lounge optional extra, as at £50 for the five of us the latter seemed excessive, and too much to pay to avoid the sweating masses - it’s usually possible to find a hiding place from the shell suits and tattooed bodies by following the no-smoking signs and keeping as far away from the tacky bar areas as possible.

This having been done we started to pack. We needed some new skiing jackets, gloves and other bits and I had the idea to visit to a local skiing outfitters (Snowear in Southborough - website at http://www.snowear.co.uk) - by chance it was the first day of a sale, in which they were offering 40% off everything. We bought some very good gear and a really excellent rucksack, more of which later, and along with two ski jackets, gloves all round, two sets of sunglasses for the kids and assorted other goodies, £196 quickly got zapped on to my credit card, which worked out to be impressive value for money with the surprise 40% discount. We had been expecting to have to pay for this stuff full price anyway, so the discount was a real bonus (more than enough for a few trips to eat dough-balls at the boys’ favourite restaurant, Pizza Express).

So on the morning of the 19th, the boys both demob happy after school breaking up the day before, we packed the car and set off at around 10.30am. After an uneventful 90-minute journey we arrived at Dover just after midday, about an hour early, and checked in for our 1.25pm crossing. Visibility was poor, they said, which meant delays. It was not until around 3pm that the boat finally set off, and then it was further delayed getting into Calais. Not a great start, and we didn’t hit the E40 until gone 6pm local time. However we made good time on the autobahn, sped past Aachen (our usual resting point) and decided to overnight instead in Köln, where we arrived around 9pm local time after a surprisingly rapid run through Belgium and Germany. The Land Cruiser did its usual motorway thing, speeding us along in comfort and with surprising urge for such a heavy diesel-engined vehicle. I am always impressed that a bulky offroader can be so relaxing and quiet inside at a steady 90mph. We briefly touched an indicated 110mph on some flat and downhill stretches of autobahn, but I didn’t want to press the car too hard in the interests of keeping fuel economy reasonable to get the most out of the 90 litres of available diesel in the tank. I don’t like stopping for fuel so a large fuel tank and good range is one of my biggest priorities when choosing a car. In theory, the Toyota should give about 500-600 miles between tankings, which is good for a big boxy machine weighing well over 2000kg.

At Köln we drove around for a while looking for a hotel and found ourselves in a suburb called Frechen. By now it was getting late. I had a weird notion that we needed to find a motel, and after spending some time driving round in circles we happened upon a McDonalds. By this time it was approaching 11pm and we had eaten very little since a light meal on the boat in the International Food Court, which was not very international and only barely passable as food. So we went into McDonalds and, against my better judgement (I am fundamentally opposed to McDonalds and all that it stands for) we ordered some chicken nuggets, a couple of McFisch burgers (vege-burgers being no longer an option!) and some of those highly unhealthy oversalted french fries. At least we were able to get Apfelschorle drinks and did not have to settle for the revolting undrinkable lardpots which masquerade as milkshakes. After consuming our emergency rations we went off in the direction of the motel, helpfully directed by the manager of the McDonalds. Upon arriving I decided I didn’t much like the look of it so we drove down the road to the Novotel to see if they had any rooms. They did, and very obligingly offered free accommodation for the children so we ended up with a three-bed room and a two-bed room for a modest outlay (far below the sticker price) which included breakfast. The breakfast at the Novotel Köln West was excellent – a really well-stocked buffet, with an impressive selection of cereals, at least five different types of bread and rolls, cold meats, cheese, pickles, and a good selection of teas.

Feeling rather stuffed after the excellent Novotel German breakfast we wobbled off at around 10am on Sunday 20th and were soon heading south on the autobahn, direction Stuttgart. The idea was to get to Stuttgart, visit the Porsche museum and anything else we had time for, then bed down in anticipation of an early start on Monday morning to complete the journey to Switzerland.

After an uneventful high-speed blast down the autobahn we arrived in Porschestraße in the grey and unremarkable Zuffenhausen district of Stuttgart around 2.30pm and spent a happy couple of hours looking at all things Porsche in the museum. It’s only a small museum but was not crowded, and the boys enjoyed themselves looking at the historic racing cars and I was pleased to see a Carrera GT up close and in the real, in which state it is a far more impressive piece of automotive art than one would imagine from photographs. It really is a beautifully balanced piece of work. Whether it is really worth half a million euros is another matter, and as such it will be interesting to see what the used market does to these cars over the next ten years or so. I was slightly disappointed to see that there is a lot of marketing emphasis on the toys, models and other goodies being directed towards supporting the Cayenne (which in my opinion is not a real Porsche at all) and very little of the important heritage of the wonderful air-cooled period which gave us the 964 and 993 variants of the 911, still in many people’s eyes the most interesting and appealing models ever built.

Armed with a little guide to all the Novotels which I had taken from Köln West, we headed for Böblingen, south of Stuttgart. Böblingen is a grey and slightly grim industrial area, home to a large Daimler Benz factory among others. The hotel was virtually empty, it being the weekend, and they were offering very favourable rates. The rooms were comfortable and the hotel service was very good – the Novotel policy of letting children stay for free is a commendable one. By the time we had checked in everyone was tired so we decided to stay in the hotel and have dinner there. The food wasn’t bad – I had a “regional style” beefsteak with sauce, fried potatoes, and sauerkraut, which I quite enjoyed. A couple of half-litres of beer went down well and the meal bill for three adults and the two boys was a reasonable €51.

The next day we headed off after 9am towards Switzerland. I decided not to go via Basel, which later proved to be a bit of a mistake. The reason was a certain unease about entering Switzerland that way as some years before, my wife and I had been delayed at the border for some considerable time by an over-zealous border guard who had confiscated a valuable radar detector, delayed our journey by two hours and fined me £120 into the bargain. I don’t bother with a radar detector with the Toyota as it doesn’t go fast enough to warrant one, but I was still suspicious of Basel border control. So, I thought it might be better to go down to Konstanz, head east, and then enter Switzerland on the east side just where Austria, Germany and Switzerland meet.

The journey was going pretty well until we arrived in a village called Tschamutt, just up the road from a place called Disentis/Mustér that I had never heard of (it’s not far west from Flims). Anyway we were driving up the road and suddenly it all just turned into snow about six foot thick, and didn’t seem to go anywhere. Strange, we thought, and headed back to Disentis. After enquiring at the tourist information office we discovered that the Oberalppass was shut, hence the road being blocked, and that we needed to take a train (with our car on board) to get to where we needed to go. Two trains in fact. So we hastened to the station in Sedrun, the next village back up the blocked road before Tschamutt. The helpful woman in the ticket office told me the train times, gave us some shrapnel for the toilet (we had no change) and even came to remind me when I needed to drive the car on to the flatbed wagon (we had planted ourselves on a bench behind the station with a couple of cheese sandwiches from the station cafe).

After the car was secured, we climbed on to the train and departed for Andermatt where we would need to drive to Realp (about 10 minutes) and get another train, in order to be able to conclude our journey to Saas Fee. The journey to Andermatt seemed reasonably priced, took about forty minutes and was very pleasant, with spectacular mountain views out of the windows. At Andermatt the train terminated and we drove as quickly as we could to Realp, whereupon we paid SFr30 and drove the car onto another car train, though this time a dedicated car train on which we remained inside the car for the duration of the journey: this to get us through the Furka Pass, again closed because of the snow. The journey took about 30-40 minutes in the darkness of the Basistunnel Furka and was eerie and exciting in equal measure, with the tunnel walls flashing past inches away outside the car windows. From Oberwald we drove on to Brig, then onwards direction Saas Fee and Zermatt. Upon arrival in Saas Fee at around 9.30pm we parked in the multi-storey car park and called the hotel. Within a few minutes theSchweizerhof hotel’s taxi driver materialised in an electric car and we were driven to the hotel, a couple of minutes’ drive into the village.

We were greeted cordially at the Schweizerhof hotel and settled down to dinner at 10pm. It was late, and a battered cod dish was unmemorable, but the dining room impressed us with its ambience and generally the hotel seemed very good. Our rooms were good, side by side with a little hallway shared between them and a further door, giving us the very useful option of keeping our room doors open, but locking the main door and thereby turning the rooms into a kind of suite or apartment. The plumbing in the bathrooms was faultless – powerful showers, and a concertina shower screen with a clever lever-operated sealing mechanism. The beds were comfortable and the room furnishings pleasant, both rooms benefiting from south-facing balcony.

One point about this hotel is that from the brochure pictures you could be mislead into thinking that it stands alone against a mountain backdrop, perhaps (in your minds eye, filling in the picture) situated (you might think) in an acre or so of alpine pasture. This is not the case. Evidently the picture was very creatively taken, at a time when the hotel (built in 1991) had perhaps only just been completed. Maybe the photo was taken with one of those special distorting cameras that only estate agents and hoteliers seem to be able to get hold of. Anyway, Saas Fee is a small place with a quasi-medieval up-and-down irregular street layout, totally stuffed, and I mean stuffed, jam-packed with buildings of all shapes and sizes and styles, jostling each other for space. There is very little in the way of yards or gardens, and there seems to be a policy of continuous building and infill development in progress, perhaps in order to not leave a single unprofitable square meter of the village. This does not detract from its charm, however for anyone who has not been to the place before, they need to keep in mind the fact that the buildings are very close together and beware that the hoteliers would very much like to pretend otherwise! If you are seeking a quiet time in the middle of nowhere, then this may not be the place.

22nd March (Tuesday): Breakfast at Schweizerhof was as good as we had expected: the usual excellent German-style buffet, with cereals, bread, cold meats and cheese, fruit juices and so on. I tried the Birchermuesli (this is a pre-soaked kind of sludgey wallpaper-paste type mix of oats, milk, water and small bits of fruit) and thought it slightly odd, however it did grow on me as the days progressed, and by the end of the stay I decided I rather liked it. The choice of bread was very good, with at least six different types on offer. Coffee quality was above average, and the service at breakfast was quick and polite.

After breakfast I went with George and Bertie down the road to search for ski equipment. In a shop called Olympia Sport, just down from the hotel, we found skis and boots for everyone for a favourable price: for five days, SFr80 for skis and sticks only for me (I have my own boots), SFr50 for each of the boys for skis, sticks and boots, and SFr120 for boots and skis for my mother. My wife being 6 months pregnant had decided not to ski.

Morning was spent on the nursery slopes; during the afternoon I tested out the red runs and then went higher to the blacks. The sun was bright and the scenery was the usual sparkling alpine stuff; the runs however were generally very busy. Skiing was good but I suffered the usual high loading to my shins and aching feet arches. The number of moguls is really quite extreme in some places.
On Wednesday 23rd we had a relaxed day testing out the nursery runs and I tried out a blue run with my six year old, who just about managed to wobble down and keep his balance on the way up the pommel. These things take some practice to get used to, perhaps the trick is starting young. In the evening we enjoyed duck with asparagus salad, followed by curry vegetables + rice. The service was reasonably good but why the waiting staff seemed to insist on keeping the wine away from the table baffled me. After several requests to leave it on the table I found this intensely irritating.

Thursday 24th was again started on the nursery slopes, and in the afternoon we took a trip up to the revolving restaurant and the ice pavilion. The revolving restaurant serves unremarkable food but it is a very interesting experience and offers amazing views, while the ice palace is fascinating.Dinner was roast beef with green peppercorns and dauphine potatoes.

Friday 25th: Again, a morning on the nursery slopes and by the afternoon I had started to feel as if I had had enough - this was the last day’s skiing, as a result of tired legs, soreness in muscles and having been slightly sunburnt.Dinner of kid entrecote was reasonable.

Saturday 26th we bought chocolate bunnies, a wooden car, a drinking pot, some chocolate and a few other bits for the journey. Saas Fee is a pleasant enough place to do a little shopping, but it’s very much geared up to tourists.
We checked out of the hotel and drove north via Basel, on into Germany, stopping in Karlsruhe. Karlsruhe Novotel is businessman’s hotel, sharp edges, black, metal, wood, heavy doors, but was reasonably priced, clean and efficient with pleasant staff. We all slept well and enjoyed dinner in a bumbling Italian restaurant - pizza, spaghetti, lasagne, bier, somehow coming to not much more than €50 for all of us.

Sunday 27th saw a 10am departure and our arrival in Köln at 1.30pm. Köln (or Cologne) is a busy, bustling, grubby city. We had a spot of lunch in Starbucks, looked inside the Dom (Cathedral), had a Rundfahrt (river boat cruise), and spent some time looking at the musicians and entertainers near the river bank, which amused the children.

We stayed at Köln West Novotel which is situated in a faintly grey industrial area surrounded by factories and lacklustre housing.

Dinner was great - the day was rounded off very well with a visit to the Sion Brauhaus in Köln. We ordered a 1m-long sausage which arrived on a very long wooden board along with potato salad, sauerkraut and lots of Sion Kölsch bier which is curiously only served in “gulp-sized” 0.2l (200ml) glasses: which meant the waiter was kept busy!

Monday 28th: return ferry from Calais. We decided to avoid the heaving masses by ducking into Langhams Brasserie on board for lunch. It was not busy, and we had steak, chips and a glass of house wine. I was very impressed with this because it was not much more expensive than the “heaving masses” self-serve restaurant, the food was really very good, and it was peaceful, relaxing and comfortable way to spend the crossing far away from the smell of smoke and the shell suits.

In summary, I would say that Saas Fee is a good destination for skiing. The lack of cars makes it safer than, say, France, and the generally better standards (than France and Italy) are welcome.

Would I stay at the Schweizerhof Hotel again? On the whole it was good, and we did enjoy the hotel pool (which not all places have) however I think next time I would probably try to book some less “posh” accommodation. I don’t mind posh places, but the Schweizerhof was a bit starchy and stifling. After several days of their endless elaborate five-course dinners (with beautifully-arranged but tiny portions, strung out over three hours) I was really itching for some beer and noise and good hearty Swiss cuisine, something which incredibly we just completely missed out on - fondue, raclette, meat and potato stew, the kind of thing generally associated with Swiss mountain villages.

Given the great choice in Saas Fee for dining out, I think also next time I would not bother with the half board arrangement - my thoughts were that this would be good for the children with eating and sleeping all on the same patch, but it proved to be a bit of a pain because the hotel were terribly slow inbetween courses, and seemed to have absolutely no idea about the table needs of small children. Ours are generally very well behaved in restaurants but you can’t expect little ones to stay happy and alert (or even awake) for three hours at a dining table especially after a busy day exercising in the outdoors.

I did not know that within walking distance of pretty much anything in Saas Fee (it’s a very tightly packed place and easy to get around as there are no cars to get in the way) there are endless bars and restaurants, so next time if we go back to the same village, I would arrange some less formal, simpler accommodation and then do all the meals out on an ad hoc basis.

What about the skiing? For the children (aged 3 and 6) it was brilliant - the nursery slopes had a little conveyor belt, and there was just the right amount of slope and space to get to grips with it, neither of them ever having skiied before. Pretty soon they were busy doing snowplough stops and turns and really getting the hang of it. After a couple of days, George (6) was able to take to the blue run with some help from Daddy, and managed to get down very well under control with only one or two tumbles.
As far as the adult skiing goes, I really enjoyed the skiing that I did, but I’m not a great skier and don’t have enough experience to say how it stacks up against other Swiss resorts. It was very busy, but then so were France and Italy in my experience, and there was quite a lot of queueing for some lifts. The lift pass was also very expensive, but the engineering and machinery looks of a high quality and is probably not like the dodgy stuff in some places so perhaps that’s the reason.

We all liked Switzerland and would return to Saas Fee. It would be an interesting place to visit in the summer.

Highlights: scenery; car-free village; hotel pool; hotel breakfasts.

Bugbears: starchy attitude in hotel; hotel food too elaborate; very high prices for ski pass and visits to attractions.

How much did it all cost? Don’t expect much change from £2,750 to undertake the trip as described above.